Eat Or Be Eaten
by Tai Prev
Summary: This is the history of Felios Carnarias, Noxian nobleman, warrior in the military, a monster to himself. [English is not my main language and i accept constructive opinions and reviews of what do you think of the history.]
1. Chapter 1

"I see that you are tough… But there's always a method to take information. And we can't spare more time with the traditional ways." The torturer said. A mage entered the dark room, only lit by some red candles, but they were not as red as the stains of blood in my clothes and the floor. I knew this mage. After each session he came and healed me, as painfully as possible, only to get me ready for more hours of intense and endless pain that would have driven a man to the point of saying whatever they wanted just to end the torment, even asking for death. But I'm not like the rest of man.

The mage gave a small smirk before his hands touched my head. After that I felt as if thousands of nails pierced my skull, spinning while they got deeper within my brain. I screamed in pain as I tried to put some resistance to this invasion of my mind. But this was not something I could fight for too long. The last thing I saw was the mage's smirk widening, knowing the pain that he was inflicting. After that all was black. In the blackness a white door appeared. I didn't want to cross it, but an external force made me walk to it. Even if this was not my will I opened this door. I stepped inside, entering my memories. I was going to remember all my story. And they would take advantage of that.

* * *

><p>I was running. My bare feet hurting and screaming at me to stop. But my mind knew that if I did so the rest would take advantage and I would spend the rest of the day with an empty growling stomach. I looked back. There were 4 more children like me, running almost desperately. My brother took advantage of my curiosity and spat at me, distracting me for a split of second he used to speed up and take the first position. I growled angered as the saliva almost hit my eye and kept running.<p>

All the mornings with the first light we were awaken of our sleep and had to run for almost 4 hours. I was 7, my brother also, we were twins. The other 3 were also my family, cousins, but in this moment they were my enemies. This morning races dictated how much food we would get, and the last one would not receive any, but also a punishment. I didn't want to pass the rest of the day starving, it wouldn't be the first time but knowing what would happen after this I knew that the energy that food provided was absolutely necessary. So I forced my legs to go faster, until I was running with my brother Aknor to my right. I could almost see the goal. Only 100 metres more and it would be over. My eyes focused at it, getting obsessed with it. I had to get there, be the first. I needed it. The obsession got to a point where I forgot about the others. The next thing I felt was a kick to my legs.

I hadn't expected that. I forgot about my enemies. I made a mistake and my body paid for it, rolling violently in the ground. I tried to stand and start running again, but my legs failed to answer, they were numb and trembling. I watched how the rest ran and reached the goal while I covered in dust and dirt.

A white haired man was waiting for them in there but I could feel his eyes looking at me, almost in a disapproving way before going with the rest of the sweating children. I lowered my head as I stood up and walked towards the goal. I only dared to look to the side, at the ominous mountain with the shape of a skull. Every day we ran the perimeter of the city-estate but we had never been allowed to enter it, nor to have any kind of contact with the people that lived in there or in the outskirts. We just knew that this was our country and that we had to defend it. We had to do this to prove our strength, if we failed it meant that we weren't ready to survive this world. But failing also meant dying. And we all have seen one of us failing.

The goal was the entrance of what looked as a ruined building. We, the children, lived and trained in there. And that's almost all we did. Day after day we spent every minute training our bodies, that's all we knew. At the entrance I turned to the left, watching as the others painted their mouths with red with the reward of the race. Aknor was the first today, so he could eat bread, fruit, cooked hot beans and over all meat. The rest did not have so much, just the bread an the meat. It was not even cooked, and it was fresh, so the mouths of the rest where painted with vivid red. My stomach was already complaining because of this sight and my mouth watered. I would gladly kill someone only to taste it. But that wasn't going to happen. And I had to face another thing. The building had a big yard in the centre of it, in there 2 adults waited for me. One of them was the one who had been watching me later, my father, the other was my aunt Jeane, mother of one of the others.

"Felios, you were the last to arrive today. Explain why." He simply said with a firm tone.

"Aknor kicked my legs and made me fall." I answered. This was all Aknor's fault, I was just running, how he should have done. Because of him I had to face punishment.

"Wrong." He says while I look at him with disbelief in my eyes. He saw it, he can't deny that Aknor did it.

"Why…?" I ask, not understanding, wanting to beat my twin for this.

"You forgot that you were not alone. Thus, you forgot that he could do that to ensure that someone else would be left behind. A sacrifice to guarantee that not only him but the rest would be able to eat. But you were also blinded by yourself. And now you have to face what happens when you commit an error." Even if his tone was calm I could sense that he was still disappointed with me. I hadn't thought of what he said and I couldn't understand why would Aknor do such a thing. He shouldn't care about the rest, they are like enemies. Why help your enemy?

In the middle of my thoughts a hard long wooden stick him my bare back, causing pain and causing me to bleed a bit, but it was not a big wound. I gritted my teeth and closed my eyes, trying not to cry because of the pain I didn't deserve. It was his fault. Not mine. Because of him I was now being hit and bleeding while he was getting his belly full of food. One particular hit made me scream in pain and I'm sure that the rest have heard that. My whole body hurted, and yet I kept standing because if I felt to my knees I would get even more punishment.

After some time the beating stopped and we all were allowed to rest a bit. I didn't leave the yard, I was alone, feeding my hate towards my brother. I was already planning how I would get my revenge, in the night when we all went to sleep I would get him and beat him just the same way aunt Jeane had done so.

"Felios, you ok?" Aknor had entered the yard and he was speaking to me. I looked at him with fire in my eyes.

"No, and all thanks to you, idiot."

"I know, sorry. But Keira has been starving for 2 days. I didn't want to see her getting worser."

"Why would you care for her? You know that in here only the strong survive." I spat at him, I couldn't stand how he could think like that.

"She's part of our family."

"She's now like an enemy, just like you and the rest. I don't care about you."

Just as I said that Aknor ran towards me, his fist ready to hit me. But I had expected something like that. I dodged, or so I tried, but my legs failed me. After all that happened in the morning I couldn't keep up. I closed my eyes and waited for a kick to be landed in me. But it never came. I opened my eyes again and looked at him, not understanding why he didn't hit me.

"You are right, we have to compete in here and get better, but you are forgetting of the first rule we were taught." He said, waiting for me to remember it.

"Over all… Protect the family." I answered. I couldn't do another thing, I was in the floor and he could crush me if he wanted. Just like an ant. I saw him lowering and I answered moving backwards just in case that he was expecting to act violently again. Instead of that he extended his hand towards me. There was a small package in there with blood stains.

"I saved something for you." He simply said.

I couldn't believe my eyes. Slowly, like a scared animal, reached for it and opened it, just to find some of the meet that was given to Aknor before. After that he stood up again and started walking.

"You should finish that fast, in no time we'll start training again."

And with that he left the yard. I yet didn't want to believe this, but my stomach growled furiously and I couldn't help but eat what I was offered. The sweet metallic taste of blood impregnated my tongue, urging me to continue eating, sating my hunger. It didn't last long but at least now my stomach wasn't completely empty. I licked my fingers and lips so that there was no trace of this before going back with the others.

From that moment until sun light disappeared we trained in combat. Each day we were given a different weapon, but they had one thing in common: they were really heavy. This fact made it harder to use these weapons correctly. We would spar endlessly, getting new cuts and bruises. On some occasions we sparred against my father or Jeane, but none of us have managed to even make them sweat. It was frustrating but at the same time it encouraged us to be better.

Today I had a longsword and I would be sparring against Keira. She held a spear with both of her hands and took a defensive position. She was a year and a half older than me, but I didn't care, I still was angry. I launched myself towards her, the tip of the longsword barely lifting from the ground. When I approached her I did half a spin, managing to lift the sword in the air, towards her body. She blocked me with the spear before countering. That's how our dance started. There was only one rule: We couldn't intentionally kill the other. In order to prevent that from happening these weapons were edgeless, but the hits of them were painful and they could definitely do important wounds, but that's why we were constantly watched by the 2 adults.

After long hours the sun disappeared from the sky, my whole body was sore, I was panting hard and bathed in sweat, some more bruises had been added to my arms and my stomach was making itself quite notorious. We were finally spared from our training when darkness covered the sky. I went to the water well we had in the yard, it was the only thing that we could use freely and without restriction. With the remnants of my strength I got a bucket of water out of it. I could see myself reflected in the water. My silver coloured hair met my neck by now, but it was dirty, as well as the rest of myself. My bright blue eyes seemed to shine in the reflection but I didn't have much time to look at my reflection, the others wanted to use the well. So I drank as much water as I could before letting the rest soak my body, hoping to get rid of the filth. My muscles relaxed a bit because of the water, but that was all, the pain was still there.

It had been another hard day, I didn't have energy for any other actions. We did not have proper bedrooms in this wrecked place, so I simply went to a covered place, laid in the floor and let my eyes close, falling almost instantly to sleep. This was something I learned to do because any moment that could be spared I used it to rest. A dreamless night followed after that, in what seemed an abandoned place, but neither homeless nor criminal seemed to ever have the idea to enter this building looking for shelter for the night.

In the morning the first rays of light woke me up and wasted no time. I had to start the routine again. But I took some instants to myself, for this were the only moments in which my body wasn't sore and all my wounds had closed, barely leaving a mark. I didn't know why, but it always happened. After a minute or so I started running again.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

A year and a half have passed, or so I think. I've known cold and hot, my clothes are now mere torn rags, so I just keep the pants, the rest gets in my way. Right now I'm nine, or so I think, I can't correctly keep track of the time that we've spent in here. The routine hasn't changed a bit, but we have changed. Right now the races do not get me as tired as they used to, we can use the training weapons with agility, weight doesn't bother us anymore. We have less hunger than what we used to, so we can go 2 days without eating without problems. My body has also changed. I'm taller, thinner, my hair now is at the height of my shoulder blades. In this time we've grown closer to each other, caring if one could not continue and trying to help without the adults seeing us. The adults have also changed. 2 weeks ago my dad and aunt Jeane left us, now we are being trained by uncle Morrison, but we don't care much about that. We thought that we'd keep doing what we have done until now.

I feel the sun's light in my skin as we run, still fast and trying to get to first position, but it's something we can handle. I no longer look at the ominous mountain, it's not important, just a distraction, as well as the rest of the things that surround me. Finally we reach our destination, I'm in second place and before we enter the building I glance at the sun and question myself why it is so low in the sky, normally when we finish our daily race it's higher. I simply shrug my shoulders for a second and go back to get my reward. And then I hear Keira screaming.

Before I can think about it I start sprinting, towards the direction of the scream. This is weird, I haven't heard her scream except when she's in true pain, and this scream wasn't like those. As I reach the yard and I'm no longer able to move. Eyes wide, watching something that any other human would have described as macabre. Keira is in her knees, covering her mouth, also unable to move, everybody watches as uncle Morrigan is ripping a man with a knife, he can't do a thing, for he is tied to a wood post as his organs fall to the floor, blood covering everything with crimson. He's twitching hard because of the pain, but his movements are restrained and are loosing force until he doesn't move, the only thing still in movement is his blood, dripping, covering more terrain.

This smell, that red… I've already seen this before and as a reaction of that my mouth starts to water, like a dog that smells it's food. Slowly and mechanically my brain starts to connect pieces before any word is said.

"You'll no longer be given rations, take whatever you wish." Says uncle Morrison, as if nothing had happened, calm and a bit distant from us.

"How can yo do this…?" Aknor says, horrified with the sudden change we're facing.

Uncle Morrison answers him, but I can no longer hear him, or anyone else. Something wakes inside me, a primal need, coming from the depths of my being, stronger than anything else. Hunger.

I start walking start walking slowly, approaching, feeling the still warm blood of the ground staining my feet . Hands reach to the corpse, getting inside, feeling the heat and moisture inside of it, until they find something firm inside of his chest, warmer than anything else. Fingers clasp around it and with a single motion I rip it away from it's place and watch as it comes out and into my vision. For a second I thought it still beated, trying to stay alive. The next thing I know is that I taste blood and flesh. I swallow and take another bite, feeling how my need starts to calm but it doesn't go away, asking for more.

I look back to the rest. Keira hasn't moved, Aknor is staring at me without believing his eyes, on the other hand my other 2 cousins, Dimitri and Elisa, have joined me, their little kid hands taking pieces of flesh while Morrison watches and smiles a bit, showing his razor sharp teeth. He's satisfied with this result.

"When you are done go back to training." He simply says before retiring of the yard.

I keep eating and look back at the corpse. It does no longer look like a person to me.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?!" Aknor screams as he grabs my shoulders. "YOU ARE EATING A PERSON!" I look at him and see anger in his eyes, all caused by this.

"And…? It's not as if we haven't done this before, you just didn't know." I simply say, surprising myself with the coldness of my words. I free myself of his hands and continue eating, taking more parts of the corpse. Behind me I can hear how Keria vomits. I don't care. I just need to calm the need.

After some time we're covered in blood, the corpse is bitten everywhere, bones showing, organs missing. For the first time since I'm in here I feel my belly full and I'm satisfied. Just Keira and Aknor have kept themselves from feeding, they left before so that they didn't watch us anymore, as if they hated and feared us. As if we were mindless monsters.

I don't understand them. We didn't kill this person, uncle Morrison did, we didn't know this person, this person was nothing more than an animal to us. Is it wrong to eat this "animal" if we don't have anything else? I think no. We have to survive.

I clean my lips licking them as I go back to training. I can hear flies coming to the corpse, attracted by the smell of death, just as we were before. I find Aknor already with his weapon, waiting for us, Keira is with him, paler than usual, still recovering from what she saw before. I take my weapon and the training continues. This time I'm sparring against Aknor.

In this time we've grown accustomed more to certain weapons, but still train with others. Keira, Dimitri and Elisa have been allowed to choose their main weapon, but Aknor and I couldn't. We were both given scythes and been forced to learn to use them correctly for combat. We are still learning though.

We try to reach to hit each other, turning, twisting, moving fast and still watching each other. I analyse his moves and he analyses mines. We're identical physically, but that's it. I feel the wrath of Aknor in his strikes, but he doesn't have the same energy as I do now. I wait and defend, receiving some hits. And then I see an aperture. I strike fast and hard, shoving the blunt blade of the scythe in his stomach with all of my strength. Aknor falls to the floor, clenching his jaw hard, grabbing his belly with both hands and curling into a ball as I point at him with my scythe.

"Face it, you can't fight well like this." I truly pity him, but it was his fault, he decided not to regain energy by eating. I watch as he gets up and grabs his own scythe, panting a bit and going back to fighting against me, his rage still guiding his strikes.

We may be identical, bu I just don't understand him.


End file.
